Marriage is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. I have always though that I wanted to get married some day, but expected that I never would. I came out as a lesbian when I was 15 years old. I've lived almost my entire life in Texas, and I thought I would die before same sex marriage was ever a legally recognized practice.
When I was 17 I met a wonderful woman who I fell in love with. We agreed that we would marry (a ceremony minus the legalities that were not an option to us) if we made it to our fifth year anniversary. We dated for twelve and a half years, wore matching rings, but never had a ceramony. I never called her my wife, we never shared last names, and we never had children together. When we broke up I realized that we could have gone through the motions, but something kept me from ever doing that. Was it the money we lacked in order to have a large beautiful wedding? Was it the family support we lacked to have a small gathering with those we loved witnessing our vows to one another? Perhaps it was just not meant to be.
So where does that leave me now? Now I am with someone new, and we have been dating for a year and seven months. A drop in the bucket compared to almost 13 years, and at the same time it is that point where you begin to question the chance of a future with someone. In all reality I know plenty of couples who marry sooner than two years in, but I digress. Why do we get married at all now a days?
Is it what we feel like the next step should be?
Is it a sign of commitment and/or love?
Is it a legal agreement to make a partnership easier in certain terms?
Is it the true start to a life and family together?
It can be, for some people, any or all of these things. What I have come to realize, though, is that I do not need a ceremony. I do not need a wedding at all. I just need to love and be loved in return, and know that it is going to make us happy to live our lives with one another on a day by day basis. I would still love to share a last name some day, especially if we add another child to her family together. I would also love to share a home (with spaces for us each to have our own time and thoughts to ourselves). Most of all, I would love to be able to continue to share my thoughts and feelings as they grow and evolve. I am a happier person for having realized these things about myself.
And then there is this show...
Love at first site is a reality show that boasts a scientific process that helps singles find their perfect match. In return they marry the person, just as they show says, on first site. It seems like a cross between a dating website algorithm and being betrothed.